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1. You don’t have a spine. If you’re born sans spine, there’s really no need to worry about spinal degeneration, is there?

2. If you can’t see it, it must be fine. Skin, eyes, hair, teeth… These front-facing body parts are important because other people can see them. If a healthy spine was really that important, it wouldn’t be in the back.

3. You love taking medication. Taking risks makes life more enjoyable! Dizziness, headaches, dry mouth, constipation, seizures, cancer, death… What’s not to like about side effects?

4. Your insurance doesn’t pay for it. Money is for important stuff like Netflix, cigarettes, and gambling. If your insurance plan doesn’t cover it, maybe chiropractic care just isn’t necessary?

5. They don’t prescribe drugs. Why would you want to go to a doctor who doesn’t think you need another prescription? (See #3.)

6. They think lifestyle “stress” can make you sick. Apparently they’re not aware of bad genes. Everybody knows you only get sick because certain diseases just run in the family.

7. They expect you to do stuff at home. They want you to make time for rest, exercise, and stretching. On top of that, they think you should change your diet. Evidently they don’t understand how busy you are…

9. Besides, you’re impervious to mistakes. You eat just fine, and there’s nothing wrong with the way you’re living. Even if your “habits” are making you gain weight and age prematurely, that’s none of the doctor’s business!  Their job is to get you out of pain so you can get back to doing the things that brought you there in the first place.